Thursday, July 21, 2005

Too Darn Hot. Just Too Darn Hot.

Here I am, on Maryland's lovely Eastern Shore, my little boat a 10-minute walk from the house, and I haven't been out on it all week. 92. 93. 91. Humidity you could cut with a knife. I'm too damn old and fat to want to go sit on a boat in this weather dangling a line overboard. Christ, I'd probably die of heat prostration doing it. The air conditioning in the house is nice. It's comfortable here, but I could be in ANY a/c place on earth and be COMFORTABLE. I need to have my head examined. I bought a house down here, and a boat so I could go fishing and crabbing, and the only crabbing I do is about the heat and why I stay inside.

At least there are crossword puzzles to do.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

UPS (Unquestionably Poor Service) and me

I'm pissed off at UPS. We sat here all day Friday with our thumbs up our asses waiting for a package that was "on time" all week. Watching the UPS tracking site, we could see that it arrived in Secaucus, NJ at 3:22 AM on Friday morning. Usually, it's then immediately shipped out to the Bound Brook distribution center for delivery to me the same (promised) day.

NOT TO BE! All of a sudden, the delivery date was changed to Monday with no explanation, and the package didn't move from Secaucus for 17 hours. THEN, they sent it to Newark, where it was scanned in, and again scanned out almost immediately. That was 2 1/2 days ago. Why Newark? Who knows? Maybe it's on a plane to Beiruit or Berkeley California. It's a mystery.

UPS's pretty much complete flip reply to my nasty note is that it's rescheduled for Monday. NO SHIT! We sat here all day Friday, to receive the package they said all week was going to be delivered on Friday, and now we have to give up ANOTHER day to wait again. Oh yeah. They also said they have nothing in place to let their custumers know that deliveries have been rescheduled. REALLY?? They have TV ads where a lady purposely falls backwards off a building because the UPS truck is supposed to be there AT THAT EXACT SECOND to break her fall, but they can't fulfill a promise of delivery in a 24-hour window?? DUH! I think I'm missing something here.

Here's the latest note I sent to UPS:

I find your reply flippant, to say the least. Here are the facts:

FACT: I waited here all day Friday for a delivery you said was going to arrive.
Then, at the end of the day (and after business hours), you reschedule it for no reason at all. Hey! My time is valuable, too. I made plans based on YOUR promise.

FACT: It arrived at Secaucus at 3:22 AM Friday. From my experience, this is normal, and the parcel usually goes out right away to Bound Brook for delivery. This parcel never moved. Actually, it remained in Secaucus for over SEVENTEEN hours. It should have been in Bound Brook long before the truck to my home went out.

FACT: When it DID move, it went to Newark, for some unknown reason, where it "departed" at 9:46 PM on the 15th. It hasn't "arrived" anywhere, so far as I can tell. I suppose it might be just be sitting on a truck somewhere, doing NOTHING. Perhaps it's parked outside your Bound Brook facility. Perhaps not. The package hasn't been scanned since 9:46 PM on Friday, which is more than 48 hours ago. Maybe it's even on a plane now, going god-knows-where. You see, the only places it could possible be "departed" to is either my house or your Bound Brook Center, of which both locations are a maximum drive of ONE HOUR from Newark. I do not have good feelings about this.

FACT: Now I have to use up a vacation day Monday to wait for this package. I already gave up a day on Friday for your promised delivery. This is NOT satisfactory performance on your part, and is indefensible. Can you even tell me if I'm going to get it on Monday? I bet you can't. Like I said in the first paragraph, my time is valuable, too.

FACT: I am at the very least entitled to an explanation for the delay. No planes or trains crashed. The package arrived at your distribution center in time for delivery. The weather is delightful - no snow, sleet, hail, thunderstorms, or even fog. If you screwed up, SAY SO. Nobody's perfect.

FACT: This isn't an "inquiry", as you so flippantly call it. It is a COMPLAINT.

FACT: I happen to be a shareholder in UPS. I fully intend to communicate with those who run the company to inform them of your inability to meet a promise or even answer a reasonable question with FACTS.

FACT: The next time I order something by mail or over the internet, I will refuse to accept UPS as the shipper.

HERE'S A QUESTION FOR YOU: WHERE THE HELL IS MY PACKAGE NOW????


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FOLLOW UP:
At 10:41 Sunday night, the package was supposedly scanned in at Bound Brook. This is interesting, because I didn't close down the computer until after 11 and it hadn't appeared yet, but OK, maybe I didn't look again -- it's possible. I got up this morning at 4:11, and took a quick look to check and saw the entry -- after all, it IS Monday now -- PLUS, at 4:03 it's again scanned "out for delivery." That can only mean that it's on the truck and should make it here sometime today - THREE DAYS LATE.

It doesn't make me any happier knowing that it'll be here today. You see, I was supposed to leave for a vacation on Friday, after the package came. The car was loaded and we were all set. So this fiasco cost us not only Friday, but the whole weekend, PLUS what might be a good part of Monday. I'm still pissed, thank you. I'll let you know what time it arrives.
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5:00 Monday and still NOTHING. Another wasted day. Maybe he'll show up after supper. Or after breakfast. This is a disgrace. My plan now is to tell anyone I buy something from that I will not accept UPS as a shipper. If it doesn't come today, we're going to tell the vendor that we will NOT accept it and will NOT deal with them any more.
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6:00 PM on the button. Doorbell rings. End of tale. BUT, driver gives me a phone number and 2 guys' names to call. I call. The guy is very nice. He reviews the history. APPARENTLY, in Secaucus, the package got mis-routed to the Newark Airport Air Hub. I told him that when UPS screws up a ground shipment THEY should immediately upgrade the package to PRIORITY. They mess up, and THEY should fix it. My opinion.

Oh. One more thing. The clothes are too big. Wifey's going to return them (US Postal Service postpaid return label was included in the box. No UPS!!!!).

Followup: The label was postpaid, alright, but the vendor charged us (no credit to my card) shipping both ways, to the tune of about 20 bucks. Then they had the balls to send us a 5-dollars-off-on-your-next-purchase coupon. Screw them. Another catalog firm (Drapers & Damons) down the drain of my shitlist.